Adventures in Suburbia: The Fuse Bead

January 25, 2008 at 11:12 am | Posted in essay, twins | 10 Comments
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It’s a typical Thursday at 3pm. I’ve chopped my bell peppers, onions, garlic and a jalapeno for tonight’s chili. My kids and a neighbor boy are sitting at the table playing with fuse (Perler) beads. When all of a sudden my son comes to me in somewhat of a panic and says,

“I put a bead in my nose and it’s stuck”.

Me: WHAT?!?

Son: I put a bead in my nose and I can’t get it out!

Me: (giggling) Blow like this. (Now you have to picture me blowing my nose with no tissue and “liquid” flying out)

Me: (holding one of his nostrils down) Blow.

Me: (still holding down the opposite nostril) Blow Again.

Me: Blow harder.

My son continues to blow his nose.

Me: (to the neighbor boy) Okay Liam, time to go home.

Son: (now crying) It’s not coming out!

Me: (giggling) Why did you put a bead in your nose?

Son: (crying) Hannah told me to.

Me: (thinking) You’ve got to be kidding me. You are five years old!

Me: (to dear daughter) Hannah, please get daddy’s flashlight for me.

A couple of minutes of nose blowing and still no bead. I can see it. But I’ve just cut a jalapeno and onion and my fingers are spicy and would likely burn if they the inside of his nose or eyes. I try with tweezers for a moment, but then stop because I am too scared that I will push the bead up further into his nose.

Me: (thinking) Crap, time to go to Urgent Care.

Me: Get your shoes, we have to go to the hospital.

Son: (still crying) NO!!!

A couple more minutes of determined nose blowing passes. We really don’t want to go to the hospital. He now has a tissue. I’ve turned off the stove with the pot of chili. Purse in hand. One more try…

Me: The bead! I think you got it!

A frantic search of the floor and no bead, it’s still up there. One more blow and…out comes the bead.

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Now I know that my son can blow out a bead faster than he can pass a quarter, but that’s another story.

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10 Comments »

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  1. After reading that, I feel like I was there. Hilarious! Are you going to scrapbook the bead too?! = )

  2. OMG!!! That is SO funny! I can’t believe that happened. I am laughing so hard (mostly at the quarter comment)…poor guy!

  3. Oh, wow! Thank goodness it came out in the end. Sounds like you had quite the day! I used to love those bead things, haha.

  4. OH my goodness, that was hilarious! I would definately save that bead! And, okay, now we HAVE TO hear the quarter story!!!

  5. That was so funny. And you had chopped a jalopeno. I like the comment of scrapbooking the bead. EWWWW!

  6. Poor guy! What an interesting afternoon! Glad it all worked out okay. So did she really tell him to put it up his nose?

  7. EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! What a scary story !!!

    K

  8. That’s hilarious. Please tell the quarter story!

  9. Ok. I don’t even KNOW how I landed here but this is hilarious because this SAME exact thing happened to my roommate from boarding school. We were seniors in high school and she was really into making little beaded alligator keychains and then I hear, “Aaah! There’s a bead up my nose!”

    She, however, didn’t stick them up there (I don’t think) she just sniffed really hard.

  10. Next time this ever happens (heaven forbid), blow into the unaffected nostril, if possible, and it will push out the obstruction in the other nostril. My daughter once got a small flower stuck in her nose. Love your site – so inspirational about your healthy habits and your baking, and drawing with your daughter. Glad to have found your site via Martha’s cupcake contest! Hope you win – your desserts and recipes here are beautiful!


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