Do Better

Adventures in Suburbia: The Fuse Bead

It’s a typical Thursday at 3pm. I’ve chopped my bell peppers, onions, garlic and a jalapeno for tonight’s chili. My kids and a neighbor boy are sitting at the table playing with fuse (Perler) beads. When all of a sudden my son comes to me in somewhat of a panic and says,

“I put a bead in my nose and it’s stuck”.

Me: WHAT?!?

Son: I put a bead in my nose and I can’t get it out!

Me: (giggling) Blow like this. (Now you have to picture me blowing my nose with no tissue and “liquid” flying out)

Me: (holding one of his nostrils down) Blow.

Me: (still holding down the opposite nostril) Blow Again.

Me: Blow harder.

My son continues to blow his nose.

Me: (to the neighbor boy) Okay Liam, time to go home.

Son: (now crying) It’s not coming out!

Me: (giggling) Why did you put a bead in your nose?

Son: (crying) Hannah told me to.

Me: (thinking) You’ve got to be kidding me. You are five years old!

Me: (to dear daughter) Hannah, please get daddy’s flashlight for me.

A couple of minutes of nose blowing and still no bead. I can see it. But I’ve just cut a jalapeno and onion and my fingers are spicy and would likely burn if they the inside of his nose or eyes. I try with tweezers for a moment, but then stop because I am too scared that I will push the bead up further into his nose.

Me: (thinking) Crap, time to go to Urgent Care.

Me: Get your shoes, we have to go to the hospital.

Son: (still crying) NO!!!

A couple more minutes of determined nose blowing passes. We really don’t want to go to the hospital. He now has a tissue. I’ve turned off the stove with the pot of chili. Purse in hand. One more try…

Me: The bead! I think you got it!

A frantic search of the floor and no bead, it’s still up there. One more blow and…out comes the bead.

Now I know that my son can blow out a bead faster than he can pass a quarter, but that’s another story.